Dear Guy-Who's-Parked-Pickup-I-Backed-Into-Earlier-Today,
First of all, I would like to say that was pretty embarrassing for me to find out the parked pickup I backed into was yours. I mean I kind of, sort of, not really, know you! Okay, so maybe I don't exactly know your name. Well, maybe I do. It's Tim, right? You look like a Tim anyway. I've seen you around town and I have met your wife. Excuse me. Ex. Wife. Ex-wife. Her. I kind of know her. We met at a craft fair last summer and again this last spring at a home show. Remember? You were there, too. So, that was a little embarrassing when the door opened and there you were and she was, too!
Second, I would like to apologize, again, for backing into your $70,000 pickup. It's a small lot and... we'll just leave it at that.
I'm so glad that the first thing that came out of your mouth after finding out I had accidentally backed into your pickup was "Is everyone okay? No one's hurt?" instead of, "___ ____ it! That's a _______ $70,000 truck!" It's such a relief knowing there are still kind people out there!
(By the way, it's a pickup. Little vehicles on 4 or 6 wheels are pickups. Big 18-wheelers are the real trucks!)
I'm also glad that you refrained from using any sarcasm when I tried to reassure you that the damage was minimal. I probably would have blubbered like a baby if you'd thrown back at me, "Not much damage?? Right!"
I'm still curious, though. Why did you start your pickup up? I hit the back. The motor is in the front, you know. Or did you think I damaged the humongous tailpipe? Either way, once you figured out that I was telling the truth and that the damage was minimal, you were a little bit nicer. Or maybe it was because you figured that the damage to my bumper was more than the damage to yours.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear Old-Guy-Who-Decided-He-Needed-To-Come-Give-Me-A-Hug,
Thank you, thank you, thank you for being soooo nice when I needed someone to be nice. And I really, really, really, really needed that hug!
Thanks for trying to reassure me that Guy-Who's-Pickup-I-Backed-Into was more concerned about the damage done to my bumper than the damage done to his. I think you were just trying to be nice. But I appreciate it very, very, very, very much!!!!
I also want to thank you for being a kind of buffer between us when I couldn't compose myself long enough to talk to anyone. I don't know what you said to Pickup-Guy, but he seemed a bit nicer afterwards.
Thanks again,
Weepy Woman
Dear Shopper-In-The-Store,
Thanks for the much needed hug. However, I was trying to talk to my insurance agent and trying to talk while bawling doesn't really work all that well.
Sincerely,
Weird Woman Who Wouldn't Stop Bawling
Dear Shop Owner,
Thank you for your hug as well. Again, I really, really, really needed it. Thanks also for helping me look for my missing wallet. Turns out, it was in the door pocket all along! I didn't find it until I got to the grocery store, though.
Sincerely,
The Customer Who'll Be Too Embarrassed To Come Back Ever Again
Dear Insurance Agent,
Thanks so much for being the second person to ask immediately if everyone was okay. Thanks for telling me to take a deep breath. It really did help. Also thanks for plowing on ahead when I did get weepy. It helped, too.
Sincerely,
Your Client
Dear Deputy,
Okay, I know that, "I lost my wallet, that's why I backed into the pickup" isn't the greatest excuse. What I meant to say was, "I think my wallet got stolen and I was so worried about it, that I was driving distracted and therefore was not fully paying attention as I should have, that's why I backed into a parked vehicle." You see? Maybe not.
However, I did find my wallet, so I won't be calling you to file a police report for that.
I'm sorry I blubbered in front of you. By that time I was so distraught and overwhelmed and all I wanted to do was go home. Thank you, though, for being kind and not treating me like a criminal.
Sincerely,
Crazy Woman
Dear Darling-Husband-Sweetest-And-Best-Man-In-The-Whole-World,
Thank you, thank you, thank you for being the first person to ask if everyone was okay. I had forgotten the milk of human kindness until you reminded me of it. You have always reminded me of that very important thing. I love you and I am so thankful every day that you love me. I am a bumbling idiot, but for some reason you find that cute.
However, my parents will be the first to reassure that this was a long time coming. They'll want to show you pictures of my first car and the many dents in it. They'll probably say something like, "This one here is from a deer. And so is this one here. Oh, and this one here is from when she swerved to try to miss hitting a skunk on an icy road and ended up in the ditch. This one is from when she spun a 360 on the entrance ramp and took out a reflector post. And this one! Oh, this one!!!! Yep, this one happened in our very yard. It was a tree and she was only going 5 mph, but it's the biggest dent! And remember that time she put her boyfriend's pickup in the ditch and took out the mirror and scratched the side a bit?" Yes, hunny, be afraid. Be very afraid! I know in our nearly 6 years of marriage, I have been amazingly well behaved. Unfortunately, I cannot guarantee the next 6 years will be as good. Or the 6 after that. Or after that. And so on and so forth.
But I will say this, I'm so glad you're there to catch me when I fall. You lift me up and amaze me with your love for me. You willingly clean up my messes and stand behind me in a fight, even if you wish I hadn't started it in the first place.
Most of all, you don't get mad at me (or let on, if you did) for backing into parked pickups in parking lots.
I love you.
Your Bumbling Idiot Wife
