Sound familiar? I know it does for me!
The other day I was talking to a friend and she asked me how I was. I hesitated a fraction of a second before saying, "I'm doing okay."
What went through my mind in that millisecond was, "My hips hurt to the point where I can hardly walk, but who wants to hear about that?? I don't feel very good, but again, that's such a downer, why say that?? I'm tired. I'm cranky. I'm crabby. I'm hugely pregnant. I feel like a beached whale. Baby is breached posterior (again!). I wanna go home. I need to pack to move and I don't want to. Somehow buying a house seems scarier than just renting even though the mortgage payment would be less than just about any place we've ever rented. Whine, whine, complain, complain, whine some more."
Seriously. That all went through my head.
Sometimes it seems like I've had all I can take and then one more thing is added to my load.
It's not that I don't pray. I do.
Sometimes the overwhelmingness (new word, Webster!) of it all just gets to me.
And then I all I want to do is whine and complain and weep and wail and gnash my teeth!
When I visited Peru, we would walk everywhere.
When we came upon someone our hosts knew, pleasantries were exchanged, but instead the standard, "I'm fine," they'd honestly answer the question.
"Juan's sick, you know. No one to work the field. Pedro's in the big city to learn but I don't think he likes it. Mariana has a new boyfriend who is a bit worrisome." On and on and on.
By our standards a little TMI.
I think it's inherited, this unwillingness to burden others.
Americans are a young... breed? Are we a breed?
We're only, give or take, 240 or so years from having declared our independence and formed a new nation. We literally pulled ourselves up by our own bootstraps and said, "We will be a nation. We will take the independents, the misfits, the seekers, the adventurous and we will make a nation out of them, by golly!"
And we did!
We've turned out some revolutionary thinkers. We've changed the course of this world and we've led the sudden spurt in progress.
All this independence and reliance on self creates the need to keep our burdens hidden and our emotions in check.
So what am I trying to say?
I'm just glad I have a Strong Manly Man to walk beside me! :D