Sound familiar? I know it does for me!
The other day I was talking to a friend and she asked me how I was. I hesitated a fraction of a second before saying, "I'm doing okay."
What went through my mind in that millisecond was, "My hips hurt to the point where I can hardly walk, but who wants to hear about that?? I don't feel very good, but again, that's such a downer, why say that?? I'm tired. I'm cranky. I'm crabby. I'm hugely pregnant. I feel like a beached whale. Baby is breached posterior (again!). I wanna go home. I need to pack to move and I don't want to. Somehow buying a house seems scarier than just renting even though the mortgage payment would be less than just about any place we've ever rented. Whine, whine, complain, complain, whine some more."
Seriously. That all went through my head.
Sometimes it seems like I've had all I can take and then one more thing is added to my load.
It's not that I don't pray. I do.
Sometimes the overwhelmingness (new word, Webster!) of it all just gets to me.
And then I all I want to do is whine and complain and weep and wail and gnash my teeth!
When I visited Peru, we would walk everywhere.
When we came upon someone our hosts knew, pleasantries were exchanged, but instead the standard, "I'm fine," they'd honestly answer the question.
"Juan's sick, you know. No one to work the field. Pedro's in the big city to learn but I don't think he likes it. Mariana has a new boyfriend who is a bit worrisome." On and on and on.
By our standards a little TMI.
I think it's inherited, this unwillingness to burden others.
Americans are a young... breed? Are we a breed?
We're only, give or take, 240 or so years from having declared our independence and formed a new nation. We literally pulled ourselves up by our own bootstraps and said, "We will be a nation. We will take the independents, the misfits, the seekers, the adventurous and we will make a nation out of them, by golly!"
And we did!
We've turned out some revolutionary thinkers. We've changed the course of this world and we've led the sudden spurt in progress.
All this independence and reliance on self creates the need to keep our burdens hidden and our emotions in check.
So what am I trying to say?
Nothing.
Everything.
I'm just glad I have a Strong Manly Man to walk beside me! :D
9 comments:
good post!!
Alright, I admit, I'm looking for the "like" button. (facebook is haunting, following me everywhere, lol!)
It's like we're afraid of being called weak, yet we all have a heart that does tend to crack a little. Thanks for the quotes on your page, they're cute and good :D
By the way, I'm not fine today, im lonesome for my family, feel fat, and want more money. That's the truth, even though i wont admit it to anyone else but you.
How are you?
so true! it's easier for me to say "i'm fine" than what i really feel like. thanks for showing the rest of us that it's alright to tell it like it is. keep 'er up!
sorry to hear it's been one of those kinds of days today for you. hoping that baby of yours will start to cooperate...must have more of the father's genes than the mother's! :)
*hugs*
Well said, my dear! And sending you a virtual hug--did you get it?! I do certainly wish we were closer b/c I would LOVE to help you out in some way.
I love your post Jessie! And I love reading your blog =) It's ok to whine and wail, your pregnant! And a very cute pregnant I might add! I know you feel like a house, I remember that all to well, but you are adorable!!!
great post! call me if you want to complain...I'll listen
Love your post :) and love the little sayings on it 2 :) Ahhh yah I guess I "lie" bout being fine a lot!! And feel the same way like i would just be complaining! So its easier to not even start and just say "fine" :) Love your blog 2 by the way! Makes me smile!
This post was good for me:) I'm the queen of its fine when its really not as you well know. Its nice to know how people are really doing because sometimes we think "are we the only one with problems".
I think we are overwhelmed to the power of 10 when we are pregnant. When are you moving? We should come help you if you are cause that is a lot for you when you're so close to delivering or so close after you deliver. Let us know and hang in there:)
too bad you weren't at our special meeting yesterday, it was so positive & uplifting. i think it's good to not tell everyone the thoughts in your mind all the time. i know i wouldn't want to share all of mine ~ far too negative! BUT, you have to have a couple of people you can truly vent to when you need to! hang in there girly!
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